Birth Story

This birth story is going to be detailed and will have lots of tmi so only read if you are okay with that...you have been warned :).

Moving to a new state two days before your due date might be the exact definition of crazy but that is exactly what we did :). We really had to make a hard decision as we knew that Shaun had to start a new job (couldn't miss orientation) on August 1st which was exactly one week past my due date. I really thought at the time that I would have her by then but there were no guarantees, and my cervix had not changed at all. I started to wonder if I was really meant to have Kate in Texas all along. When I went through my doula training six weeks pregnant with Kate one little activity that we did was to describe our ideal/dream birth. I knew exactly what I wanted and that was a birth at a birth center close to a hospital with a giant tub and highly skilled and trained midwifes. At that time, I thought there would be no way possible that I could have that kind of birth as there are no birth centers in Mississippi. Shaun and I talked and prayed it over and felt a peace that could only come from God that we needed to go. I can't remember how many days it was between making that decision and leaving Mississippi, but it couldn't have been more than a couple days. We literally got a copy of my medical records, made a hotel reservation, packed up the van with as much as we could and left.

My first appointment with the birth center was on my due date. It was a long appointment as they went through my entire medical history, but it felt absolutely wonderful to be in that place. It was fun to think about all of the sweet miracles that had taken place in that old house (birth center was in a redone Victorian home) as I looked around at all of the precious footprints of the babies born on the wall. There was so much excitement building inside of me as I realized I was literally due any day and that I was finally in the place that we would meet Kate. And then we waited...

The birth center that I went to has a very good relationship with their backup obs and hospital that is blocks away, which is one of the things that I liked about this birth center. But it also made it difficult since I was overdue as I was on an ob's time clock and felt very pressured to have Kate asap. We had an ultrasound to check on her at the ob's office and since everything was great...it bought me a few more days. The midwives set Friday (Monday was 42 weeks) as a "labor start" day if I didn't have her before then because they couldn't let me go any longer.

Friday morning, I woke up feeling crampy...my back hurt...and I had a bloody show. I was thankful to see that my body was cooperating with everyone else's timeline, and we took our time going in to the birth center for the "labor start." We got to the birth center and met a really sweet friend of a friend, Emily, who picked up Henry for us and took such great care of him (even took him to a fire station...he didn't miss us at all!). The midwives wanted me on the monitor for a hour to check on Kate since we were post-term, and they also checked me at that time (3 cm). I wasn't hurting at this point at all so I was just laying on the bed talking to Shaun and sipping on the grape juice with crushed ice that they brought me (yummy!! my fav drink...has to be welch's though!!). After a hour on the monitors, the midwife (she was a CNM) came back and checked me and I was now 4 cm and Kate looked great on the monitors. Since they wanted me to have my baby for sure that day, they asked if they could break my water (I don't think I really had a choice at almost 42 weeks!) and I agreed. After a little bit more monitoring, they sent us off to walk and to get lunch (I had to wear a depends as anyone who has ever had their water broken knows it just keeps coming). Traffic was horrible and we had to be back in a hour so we had a quick lunch at chip.otle (yum), and there was no time for a walk. The midwife checked me again when I got back, and I was 4 1/2 cm. So I progressed 1/2 cm in a hour. Well at this point I was feeling very discouraged as I could tell active labor really hadn't fully kicked in as my contractions were not getting stronger, and I knew I was on a serious time clock with having my water broken. They told us to go downstairs to the birth room (which is a huge ridiculously nice bedroom/bathroom with comfy furniture and built in speakers for music and a giant bathtup :) to get settled in for the day. Once in the birth room, a different midwife came in to talk to us. Let's just say that this pep talk was NOT helpful at all and that Ina May is soooo right about how emotions/negative words etc can stop labor. To quote the midwife, "Courtney 1/2 cm in a hour...we are not impressed...we can only give you a few more hours before you are going to have to get transferred to the hospital." She instructed us to do nipple stimulation for 30 minutes to get labor going and mentioned that it works for almost all of their past due labor starts to get a labor pattern going. Shaun knew I was upset. He was upset. She was really rude (or came across that way to us), and we were pretty surprised. Shaun tried to make me feel better by saying that maybe she was just trying to get me fired up, but it was too late...the damage was done. I knew I had to let go of everything that just went on and all of the pressure I felt to labor so we put on my labor music playlist and got in some comfortable clothes/lit the labor candles and well...had our session :). We laughed for awhile about how absolutely crazy it was but then it just felt normal and was a very special intimate time for us to be alone and to get to talk about this new exciting chapter in our lives. I'm sure there was some oxytocin involved but I didn't have a single.contraction....not one. Nothing. So I knew when the midwives came to check in on us that there would be no change. Kate was still high in my pelvis so they got me to do some deep squats. It was encouraging to hear that once her head was down during a squat that I was six centimeters, but we needed some stronger contractions to get her head down on to my cervix. At this point, we were given two options. We could try a half dose of cyto.tec there, or we could go to the hospital for pitocin. I obviously didn't like either of these ideas, but I knew I had to pick one as my water was broken. Shaun asked if we could take some time to go power walk around the park next to the birth center before making the decision. We walked....and I had a few contractions but again nothing. At this point, I was soooo done emotionally. I think I cursed a few times and then had a big talk at the bathroom sink with God where I just gave it all to Him. I was really concerned about using cyto.tec because of the fda warnings that I had read, but we talked it over with the midwives and felt comfortable as they only use a very small dosage and then they actually half that pill before they insert it. But if that didn't work, we already decided that we weren't going to do a second dosage of cyto.tec and were going to go to the hospital. The labor assistant got me on the belts (yes they have the ability to monitor just like the hospital), and I had to lay in the bed for 30 minutes for the pill to dissolve vaginally. At about ten minutes in, I started to feel crampy again. I think this might have just been my own body starting to kick in again as the labor assistant said that it shouldn't work that quickly. And then a little after 5:00 PM, I had my first big contraction and knew that I had to get out of that bed asap. They wanted to make sure to have a good strip on the monitors, and I understood that....but there was NO way I was staying in that bed. Labor is 100X more painful when you are laying in bed. I consider it torture. Next contraction came, and I jumped out of the bed and leaned over. I knew they could still monitor me in that position so I didn't hesitate for a second. Shaun asked me what massage lotion I wanted, and I was already annoyed at having to answer a question so I knew that I was for real in labor then :). He massaged my lower back, which is what I liked during Henry's labor and what felt the best this time too. These contractions were very powerful, and I had a difficult time working with them as they came out of nowhere. We didn't have a slow buildup to get into a rhythm together so I was just having to go with it and Shaun was too :). Only after a few contractions, the midwife (this is NOT the midwife who was rude...thank goodness) checked me again and said that baby's head had already moved all the way down. Everyone was very relieved. I decided that the contractions were feeling like they were working way too fast so I got on hands and knees on the bed. At this point, I looked over to the sweet labor assistant and asked "how soon can I get in the tub??" She said that it would take ten minutes to fill the tub, and she went right away to start filling it up. Ten minutes sounded like a really long time to fill up a tub at the time :). Contractions at this point were probably coming every 2-3 minutes. I wasn't getting much of a break at all. The labor assistant came to tell me that the tub was ready, and I think I ran to the tub while taking off my nightgown. Modesty was gone. There was only one thing on my mind at that time and that was focusing on getting this sweet baby out. And oh that tub felt amazing. They call it the midwife's epidural...and it was for sure. I felt so much better in the water especially between contractions. I wasn't really sure what position to get into in the tub at first. The labor assistant (I'm going to call her D from now on) said that some moms like to lay all the way back into the water. I tried that position but then immediately went into a kneeling position because it felt so much better. Shaun was continuing to massage my back and encouraging me while putting cold rags around my neck. I was really hot at this point (nearing transition) so the washcloths felt great. I remember thinking to myself in the tub and then saying out loud "this has to be transition right??!!" "I need to know how much longer this is going to be?" They always replied back with there is no way to know without checking you, but you are probably getting close. I was a very vocal laborer which surprised me but I felt so comfortable with Shaun, D, and midwife that I just let it all hang out. Shaun said that some times when a contraction first started I would let out a little high pitch noise while tensing but then he would remind me to make "birth sounds" and "that's it...let it out." I remember being surprised and amused that he was telling me that but it really was helpful to be reminded (making lower groans etc is better for labor...high pitch means you are tensing)...he really has soaked up a lot of labor knowledge over the last two years :). I thought a lot during labor about the three women that I had supported through labor and how strong they all were and that inspired me to keep going. I also prayed outloud a few times. D kept telling me to blow out breaths when she could see me tensing too much during contractions, and this really, really helped and felt good. And then D did the double hip squeeze on me, and I could not believe how good it felt!! It seriously almost took all of the pain away. Shaun attempted the next contraction but I ended up asking D to please do it again :). There was a point when that was no longer helpful (probably after 4 contractionsish), and it felt better to have them help me sway my hips back and forth. All that I have talked about so far was probably 45 minutes or less. And then I had my "transition moment" (almost every woman has it and from a doula perspective you always know it is a good sign). I said, "this was a BIG mistake!!"...and I didn't mean the cyto.tec (as Shaun thought I meant)...I meant natural childbirth, birth center, being a doula etc etc. All of a sudden...I felt like I had to go poo right away so I told them, and they took me over to the toilet. It was a little more difficult than I expected to poo but I was able to, and I knew this meant baby was probably coming soon. I buried my head into Shaun during the contractions on the toilet, and he held me tight which felt really good. The hardest contraction I ever had was going from the toilet back to the tub. I collapsed into Shaun and didn't know what to do with all of the pressure I was feeling while standing so I started doing horse lips, which helped tremendously. I remembered later that this was a Ina May Gaskin trick that I had read about, but I think I actually did it instinctively. Got back in the tub which felt so much better for probably only one or two more contractions when I felt that I needed to go poo again. I again knew in my head that this was a good thing but still wasn't sure how much longer I had left and was sad that I had to get out of the tub again. Midwife applied some pressure to help me go and also moved the little lip of cervix that was left, and they also encouraged me to bear down a little with the contractions which felt nice. A little funny...Shaun kept flushing the toilet with me still on it...I was NOT a fan and had to tell him to stop. I think D and midwife thought that was funny :). And then I felt something unbelievable....my body was literally all of a sudden pushing my baby out. There was no stopping my body from doing what it needed to do at this point. I had two options...I could just ride it out and feel my body pushing or I could bear down a little to help. I think I just rode out the first push because I was so surprised at how it felt. I told the midwife that I was pushing, and she encouraged me to bear down on the next one. This part for me felt way better than those transition contractions. It actually felt good to bear down! After that first sensation of my body pushing, I had what is called the "rest and be thankful phase." I knew in my head that it was my rest phase when I had enough time between contractions to walk from the toilet to the bed :). I squatted next to the bed and pushed for one contraction and could tell that her head was almost out. I hopped onto the bed on hands and knees and felt like that was the position that I needed to be in, but the midwife told me to turn around into a sitting upright position. I should have told her no :) (because I ended up tearing and I don't think I would have had the same tear in h&k) but at this point I was just doing as I was told because I had no idea what to expect. The next contraction came, and I remember the midwife telling me not to bear down anymore and out she came :). Born at 6:18 pm...just a little over a hour labor...8 lbs 8 ounces! Shaun caught Kate and lifted her up on to my bare chest. I could try to put into words what this moment felt like, but it is impossible to describe. It didn't hurt at all... just a very warm and beautiful feeling. I felt relief and immediate love. She was absolutely gorgeous and wide awake. I couldn't believe how much she looked like Henry when he was born. And then the most wonderful thing happened...no one took my baby away from me. I got to keep her and soak her up skin to skin, which made delivering the placenta/getting stitched etc so pleasant. I was laying down to get stitched and decided to put Kate up to my breast to see if she wanted to nurse. She self-latched immediately (probably three seconds!), and we couldn't believe it! She was also pushing off the bed using her crawling reflex that babies without anesthesia have when they are born. Amazing! I could not get over how good I felt after the birth. I had of course read about all of the hormones/endorphins etc that rush into your body after natural childbirth but literally couldn't get over how good I felt. I've never been that relaxed in all of my life!! I kept saying to the midwife and D, "I can't believe how great I feel." I could tell they hear that often :). Shaun and I couldn't get over how wonderful of an experience this birth was for us. D got a fresh warm bath ready for me and brought my candles over to the bath. She seriously thought of everything. She made sure we had everything we needed to have a great experience. I got in to the tub by myself for a few minutes and then Shaun brought Kate back to me into the bath to nurse some more. Kate was very alert for probably close to two hours, and she nursed most of that time :). It was so wonderful to be able to soak her up and to look into her sweet eyes. What a miracle...God is so good.